Having a Good Relationship with your Superego
The Superego is a mental function. It's the part of our minds that represents the conscience, the voice that reminds us of rules, standars, aspirations and models of behavior.
Having a good relationship with our superego is crucial for achieving success and having a healthy self esteem.
Human beings are capable of abstract and conceptual understanding of reality, others and themselves. We don't only work, love or befriend. We are also capable of assessing if we are succesful at work, good lovers or friends.
Actively monitoring how we are doing at any task we are performing and what impression we are causing on others are strong advantages human beings have. Next time your superego is telling you you're a failure or not lovable it'll be certainly hard to be grateful for having this brain function, this superego. But wishing you didn't have one is certainly not a solution. Knowing that this capacity of self assessment is supposed to be helping you may facilitate clarifying how to go about improving your relationship with it.
Imagine your superego as an elementary school teacher that comments on how you are, how you are failing in different ways and how you dissapoint or even deserve punishment. If you are aware that this teacher in you is not a motivating and encouraging guide, but too strict and harsh, then become also the principal. Use your capacity for self awareness to see how unhealthy this relationship is and intervene. Not only telling your superego to back off, but also encouraging this teacher in you to imagine all you can become and guide you forward with a caring and supporting hand.